Same but different

When I go home for my vacation I feel like everything is same. but also different. I try to explain. My son is become so big. He is still my son but when I look at him he not look like my baby any more. He not talk like my baby any more. It is like he is big. He is same but different. He call me mama. but he not know who mama really is. How can he know? I am so far away for him. I am most important person for him but I am nobody for him. Being with him make me happy and sad at same time. like it is raining when the sun is shining. 

Richie is also different. he is now another person. The one I knew when I was 17 year old girl is gone. How I can say this? He is too far from me now. Not just far like Dubai and Davao but just far. Gone. changed. He is same person but he is so different. When he talk to me it is like he is stranger. How I can have baby with him I dont know? It so funny feeling. I feel like I know him so well but I not know him at all.

My mother is still same. Only interest is money. Money money money. All the time she ask me Sally what you bring? Sally why you not bring this? Sally why you not bring that? She is same and her questions are not different. Why she not ask me Sally how your maam is treat you? Sally you ok? Why you so sad Sally? 

Already 2011 is over. In 5 days it will be new year. So much is happen in one year. But so little is different. How that can be? How it can feel like your whole life is change but still it is all the same? How it can be that you think you are important but you are still nobody special? How it can be that you are a stranger to someone but you still know them so well? How can it be rainy and sunny at the same time?

There is no use thinking of all thing in the past. Everything is different but nothing has changed. The only thing that has really changed is time. And me.