Garbage and change

I not like reading paper these days. All the time sad story about baby. Like the last week story when they do abort to 7 month baby. This week two mother is throw their baby in garbage. Imagine. In garbage. The small baby is not having any food or any water. And it so hot. It good baby not die and someone is find it.

Why they throw in garbage? Because again maybe they not marry and they pregnate. Same story only different end. They not want to go in jail and become garbage so they put baby in garbage. They not in jail but I hope they in hell. I not like to think like this. but these small baby is so small and helpless. It not good.

But I feeling bad I think like this. I know mother is feeling she not having choice. but why she get pregnate when she knowing law? Why she not use protection? I know you thinking even I get pregnate like this but at least there no law in my country about this. I thanking God there no law like this in my country when I get pregnate.

Now my whole mood is sad. I thinking all time about these baby. And these mother. I thinking there needing to be some change. In these mother or these law. For all these baby who becoming like garbage.

Change make me think of other story. Some week back in paper they writing story about how when you buying something you not getting back exact change. Like if something costing 10.85 dirham you paying 11 dirham and then you not getting back 15 fils. So it like you throwing your money away. Throwing 15 fils away. Imagine if you throw 15 fils away so many time it become so much money.

I telling maam that I always waiting for exact change. Maam saying Sally I not even knowing what 10 fils and 5 fils is look like. All coin having arabic number. Maam not knowing arabic number so she not knowing what money she getting back. She just taking what money they giving her and put in her purse like that. 

But I know how to read Arabic number. When I am at Baba place in Oman his son is teach me number. Maam is not realise that for me even 15 fils lot of money. so I always waiting for my change. I always counting my change. I not throwing my change away. Because change is not garbage. Just like baby is not garbage.

Money is so precious to me. So I not throwing it. Baby also should be precious to mother. 

Baby on board

Today we going to spinney. On the way home there this black car that is almost do accident to our car. Maam is so upset. Black car having yellow sign at back. It say Baby on Board. Maam show me sign. She say what the use of putting this sign if he driving so badly.

I thinking maybe Baby on Board mean that driver is driving like a baby will drive. That why he drive so bad? I telling maam. She laughing. She say Sally I liking how you think. But whole day today I thinking of that sign. Because in morning I have read other story in paper. It on front page. 

It say that there two housemaid who is arrest because they do abort to baby. These girl is panic because in Dubai it not legal to have baby if you are not marry. And I think it not legal to do abort also. But what they do is so so bad. Because they waiting until they 7 month pregnate. Then they do abort in bad way. Imagine what they thinking to do this bad thing?

I feeling angry with these girls. These girl not thinking. They not knowing rule in this country? Why they in this situation? But I feeling little sad for them because it hard to think when you pregnate and so scare. I know. When I getting pregnate I am also panic. When I am telling my mother and father I am so scare. 

But it different my situation and these girl situation. I tell you why. When I am pregnate without marry I know I do bad thing. but in my home country it not illegal. I not going to jail because I am pregnate and not marry. 

I thinking if they having baby they going to jail for some time. or getting deport. But in the end mostly they going home. with the baby. At least it be a happy ending.

Now they do this bad thing. Now they having nothing. only jail. No job. No going home. No baby on board. No happy ending.

Driver

Few day back maam is tell me Sally I tired of doing driving. so much stress. She say she now wanting to get driver. I am so worry now. There only one maid room. It so small. But it my room. Where this driver will sit whole day? I not wanting him in my room. I not even wanting him inside my kitchen. Every time I going on holiday maam is arrange kitchen. When we first moving in this house she saying me Sally put all spoon here. Put all plate there. Put all food thing in this place. Then she not doing any kitchen work so I putting it where I wanting. I put plate here spoon there. Where it good for me. Not for her.

Maam not liking that. She always moving thing when I going out. She saying me Sally why you keep changing this in my kitchen? But I using it more than she using it. So I not think it her kitchen. It my kitchen. And now I worry I having to share my kitchen or my room with this driver.

I wish I am knowing driving. Then my maam not needing driver. You know I have this friend Elena. Her maam is make her learn driving. Everytime she going Bur Dubai for driving class. Her maam paying for her class. but Elena having to reach Bur Dubai by her own. She going on her own holiday. I telling her quickly do test so you not having to waste your money and holiday for this driving class. But poor Elena she failing test two or three time already. Then she having to take class again. Now her maam is tell her she not pay for more class. So poor Elena is already waste so much money and holiday for this class but she not driving.

Now I am thinking it good if all maid know driving when they come here. Then we not depend on our maam to take us to mall. or spinney. We not having to pay car lift boy. It be so nice. Few day back I am going to meet my friend Marcie. She now living little far. Her maam is move to other villa. Marcie the one who think her husband is having affair. She going back to Cebu in few days. I telling maam I wanting to say bye. Before it so easy to meet Marcie. I am just walking. But now I am depend on maam to take me. 

But maam also busy. she say Sally you can go meet your friend when I am going out. but I not able to drop and pick you. you ask Lilibeth if she can take you.  Lilibeth also busy. She having lot of guest in her house. And I not want to take taxi. I not want to spend so much money. So when maam going out I am taking Sara bike and going. Sara not liking if I riding her bike. She saying Sally you so big you break my bike. I know it not good to take bike without ask. But I not having choice. With bike I not depend on any person to take me. I am free. 

Today I am reading in paper that there this Saudi lady who is arrest because she driving. I know how she feeling. When whole time you is depend on other person to take you every where. You wanting to be free to fly but you not having wings.

See how life not fair. Maam is allow to drive. but she wanting driver. And some people not allow to drive. or not able to drive. but we not wanting driver. We just wanting to be free.

end of world

Few week back maybe in April sometime I am reading in paper that the world is end. There this one lady who come here to Dubai and put up big sign that world is end on May 21. I am seeing that in paper and get worry. All housemaid is discuss this in park also. We all thinking what is happen when world is end. Already big earthquake is happen in Japan. I am thinking that maybe this earthquake is begining of this end? 

I am telling gardener. He get so much worry he almost crying. he say he going back to his home because if he going to die he wanting to die with his ammi. his mother. We all wanting our mother when something bad is happen. Like when Rayan getting hurt. He not calling anyone. just mummy. Maam always say Rayan I giving you kiss it become better. Then she giving kiss and Rayan crying more loud. He say no mama it not better. you kiss again. Then maam giving other kiss and getting ice or bandaid. and everything is better.

So when I am hearing gardener say he wanting his ammi even I am wanting my mama. But I not wanting to waste my mobile minute so I talking to maam. Maam say all rubbish this sign is. No one is knowing when world is ending. She say see Sally when May 21 is come you and I will still be here.

So many week is pass after that. And May 21 is come. Maam is remind me in morning. She smiling and saying Sally remember world is ending today. Lets see. Day is like any other day. Sun come up. Sun going down. Still nothing happen. Maam saying see Sally nothing is happen. Maam is telling gardener also.  She say only god know when world is ending.

But sometime a person is knowing when their world is ending. Like that Indian worker who is jumping from Burj Khalifa. or that man who jump from tall building in jlt. So sad I am feeling for them. Imagine they having so much stress. Like me they come from other country to work in Dubai. Maybe they having no money. or maybe missing family. or maybe they not get salary for many month. or not get holiday or leave. I not knowing reason but it must be something so bad. That they not wanting to live. That their mother or bandaid or ice is not able to make it better.

What they must be thinking to jump like that? to make their world end like that? 

sick day

Last week something is happen. Full night I not sleeping. It my son birthday in Philippine. I missing him so much. I thinking if I at home I making food for him. I making him sleep in my bed. I cooking all nice thing for him. And he eat it. Not like maam children. All the time I making thing for them and they not apprecate me.

At 3 oclok in morning I am calling him. I saying him what you wanting for you birthday. His answer making me feel sad. And feel happy, He saying when you coming home mama? I tell you why I feeling sad and feeling happy. He know I am his mama. But he never direct call me mama. He always call me Sally like I his big sister.  He always say this is Sally. she my mama. But he call me mama today. He give me birthday gift today

At 6 oclok in morning I am not having mood to work. I not wanting to do anything for maam children. Because they not apprecate me. I tell sir I not feeling well. If I tell maam I know she suspect me so I tell sir. I stay in my room full morning. I sleeping. I reading. I pretend I not well so I not having to go out. I just feeling like not do anything. Like that song I hearing on radio. Bruno Mars song. he filipino like me. Today I dont feel like doing anything. nothing at all.

Maam also not calling me. I hearing her do everything. Packing children lunch. Making children break fast. Eating her break fast. But I staying in room I not feeling like go out only. When I waking up it lunch time. Maam is out. I eating my lunch. Then I seeing maam is leaving note for me. She writing Sally if you not well I take you to doctor in afternoon when I come home. Now I not know what to say maam. I not having mood to work but I not sick like to go to doctor.

Maam coming back home. She asking me how I feeling. She say Sally if you have fever take panadol. Maam solution for everything is panadol. Then she saying Sally it your son birthday today. I know you missing him. You phone him and talk him then you feel better. I know maam is suspect that I am doing fake sickness. I saying her that I now feeling better. that in morning I feeling sick and weak but now I am ok.

Then she saying Sally I bring small cake for you to take for your friend in park but if you not well how you be able to go? I tell her no maam I able to go now. I feeling better. Maam saying Sally if you not feel good then you better rest.

But I thinking this sickness not get better by rest. It only getting better when I go back home. when I see my son. Because I not really sick. Only home sick. only sick inside my heart.

So I taking the cake and going to park.