eclipse

Today maam be getting up and seeing in paper that there is eclipse. She be getting all excite. She telling me Sally no look sun with eye we look with bucket of water. So she get bucket and put in garden out side. She telling children no look at sun also. Then she saying Sally when eclipse come we go out and look in water and see the sun in the water.  

I ask maam why this eclipse is coming? Maam she telling me something about moon and sun all going around and I am not understand. Then maam taking paper and pencil and doing drawing on the paper but I still no get. Maam then say Sally it like moon shadow going on sun and I saying maam why you no explain like that before? But how moon shadow going on sun I not understand but I getting bore with all this science talking so I not ask her again.

Then maam is reading in paper they saying lot people scare of eclipse. Maam say Sally that all supstishum you no believe all that. I telling her no maam I not believe but what mean supstishum?  Maam be explain me that black cat no good for some family they believe it bringing bad luck. I saying yes maam I get. It like when snake come in house in china it bring good luck. Then maam saying no no all rubbish. Maybe one time snake is coming and children is scare so then someone say no no children no worry that snake bring good luck that why now everyone believe it. I tell her yes maam you right no thing like that.

Then I tell her that there half man half snake person who living in mall in my home country. I really believing that. People is seeing it. Really it living Robinson mall. we calling him snake man. His twin is owner of mall. he live in mall basment. He eat girl who go in mall change room. I so scare I never going into that mall. Maam laughing lot and saying Sally you big now you must not believe all this rubbish that man maybe his skin is burn from some accident or maybe he be having some problem when he is born. How I tell maam that I not believe her? How she know? It in my home country she not go there even one time. Then I asking maam if she believe mermaid real or not. Maam shaking her head saying Sally you must stop all this nonsens thinking. After this maam wearing her sun glass and go outside to find sun. She get so excite when she seeing sun getting cover up. She calling me to see also.  she tell me no look at sun Sally look only in the water. 

When I look in bucket of water I am only see snake and mermaid. and snake man. Now I no get sleep in night.

Gilty and confuse

I quickly do blog because maam sir and children only go out short time just now.

Today I feeling very gilty. I wake up very early and be get on maam computer when maam asleep. I am seeing on my blog one person who read my blog story give me good advise. I reading her advise then thinking lot whole day about her advise how I can use. But now I confuse. When I coming back on blog to write her how I be change I am see that she be remove all her advise comment. So now I not knowing what she be meaning but I already taking her message to my heart and I deciding to be nice person.

She tell me no steal no lie no want throw thing at maam. She telling me remove story but how I can remove? Then it not be my true life story then I be doing big lie again. Better I do how you say improv  myself. From now on I try not to do any wrong thing. Whole day I be thinking how I can improv myself. So thinking thinking I making my plan.

First thing I be doing when maam is waking in morning is I be return icebox. I go into outside store room and remove from my bag. Good think I not take bag to Luena home or I having to go to Sharja to bring back. then I telling maam see I finding it. It was in kitchen fallen backside of frig. Maam believe me saying good Sally you find it now wash and put away. see I tell you Sara never leave anything at school.

I feel so gilty that maam is trust me I wash it very extra. Now nailpolish colour I no can return but I swear myself I never take her thing again. I still want throw thing at maam sometime but I try not to think that bad way. I have become so bad person since I come as housemaid. 

This person also telling me no send so much money to my family. How I can do that? All time they be calling my mobile telling me send money send money. They be make me feel so gilty also if I not be sending money. Gilty gilty all time. Gilty if I take thing that not belong me. gilty if I no send money to family. I oldest sister I am having resposibilty not just my son but my brother and sister. My mother now she have new children with new husband so she no look after her old family. She not abandon but she no buy any new thing for old family. If she get chicken from shop she giving her new children. then she showing her old family children. she say see I give them chicken but it over now. there no peace chicken for you. She want make them feel jealous.

How she not feel gilty? I need learn from her.

Puzzle mind

Today I am be puzzle. I not knowing what to feel. One side I feeling scare. My blog story having lot people see it. So sudden. How they all finding me? I feel scare now I think I stop write. Supposing my maam seeing? She be knowing everything what I be doing when she outside home or sleeping and I will be dead. She definitly sending me back. Supose some friend of my maam seeing it then they be showing her and then I is dead. Someone even writing to me comment to showing my picture. How I can do that? Imagine I showing my picture and my maam seeing my picture. I talk to Lilibeth. She say she will show me how remove me from blog if I am wanting. Other side I feeling excite. Imagine I is famus. so many people be reading my story. They all knowing how hard my life is. How my maam be good maam but she not want me to progress. How I can remove my blog? Then how people will know my life?

so I is in puzzle mood today. Maam is talking to me and I cannot listen her. I even burning food today that how puzzle I feel. One side scare. other side excite. Like when I be giving birth to my son. I so excite but I so scare at same time. Now son is 7 and I think it better be scare than excite. He so far away from me I not see him so many year. He know I am his mother but now he start call me his big sister. I think he be ashame that I leaving him so many year. What I can be doing? I am having to work hard here. My hand is how you say tie.

My friend Maria her hand is not tie but it is all crack. She washing so many thing after her maam do New Year party her hand all crack up. She coming to me crying saying I giving you 30 dirham you please do my washing. I telling her how I can do the washing my maam not letting me. But anyway I be telling my maam and my maam saying Sally you get in trouble you go someone home who not your emplayer. What if you be breaking something? They will say Sally broke it and then make you pay. Better you not go there. So I telling Maria my maam say no. 

Any way Maria is liar I no want to help her feel better. Just like her hand is crack my frienship with her is also crack.

Water fountain

When I first starting to work for this maam she be taking me to see fountain in dubai mall. After that six month no taking me to dubai mall. Only moe when we be going carfour. Few day back she telling me Sally we going see new fountain in mall you also be coming with us. Fountain now having fire. I getting excite. I quickly getting ready and getting camera to be going. Sometime my maam is surprise me like this. other time she be leaving me home by own self. 

We going dubai mall in night time. So many people is there at the mall to see fire and water fountain. The show is begin and it so nice but there is no fire. I feel disapoint. Maam also is looking confuse. She going inside mall asking about fire show. They is saying sometime there is fire sometime no fire. I feeling sad why the only time I seeing fountain there no fire. Then maam she be surprise me again. She say ok Sally we wait for one two more show until we see fire. Today we will see fire before we go home. Then we is lucky. In next show fire is coming out of the water. It is so good. when fire is coming out of water I feeling hot like I am in the oven. when fire is going down it cold again. Dubai more cold than my home so I is wrapping scarf around my body or I am shiver.

Like I am shiver when I am washing car. Hose in maam garden having lot of hole so all water spraying everywhere. I washing car I also washing Sally same time. In hot month it fun to be get wet. I like play in water but in cold month like december I is shivering lots. I telling maam about hose she saying Sally I will bring but no hose so many week. She be forget every time she is going out. How she not remember hose? She not forget to be bring her thing but for me she will forget hose. 

Few morning back I am washing balcony and I am full wet from top to bottom. I think I will make myself more wet to show maam how bad hose is. Maam see me say Sally what happen you will get cold you better wash balcony in afternoon when it hot not morning or evening. She not blaming hose she put blame me that I am stupid to wash in morning. I wet and cold because hose bad not because it cold in morning. 

But after watching fountain I be getting idea. I will imagine I is in dubai mall fountain when I is washing maam car or balcony.

Liar

My friend Maria is a big liar. She telling me she want to sell me her computer. She say it like new. But when I telling her to show me she say she is having lot of picture on computer that she need to remove before she be selling it. Then how it like new? I not buy from her now. See how she is lie to me?  if I am wanting I buying from shop. 

So I am phoning my friend Susan who maam give her computer for Christmas. I say Susan what computer your maam give you? where she got from. Susan telling me I dont know Sally it not new it maam computer from before she only making it like new for me. Now I look at my photo frame and I feel how you say very proud that I have new gift for Christmas not already use thing like Susan. My  maam she even giving me garantee for frame and it having my name on it. She showing me saying Sally if frame be getting spoil you take it to Sharafdg and you be exchange it. You can do this for two year and see it have your name and mobile number. So I am knowing she buying it for me special.

I asking my maam can I get connecshin in my room. My maam saying why you needing internet connecshin. I tell her I am wanting to buy computer. Maam saying you know Sally computer very expensive why you need it what you will do with it. See how she not want me to progress she want me to stay stupid. Then she say we have to make connecshin active but it costing money to make active. 100 dirham to make 6 point active in home. I tell her I no need 6 point only one connecshin in my room. Maam say I know what you be needing in your room but du doing 6 point same time. I be thinking what this point point I am needing connecshin why maam keep talking about point?

I am waiting she say we having waifai in house but she no offer me to give me waifai password because she not want me to progress. I want to tell her I am doing blog I not stupid. and I am already know her waifai because I be asking Rayan for password but she be kill me if I tell her. She also get angry with Rayan. Then she be changing password and not telling me or Rayan so I keep quiet. Then she say like she know what all I be thinking Sally waifai not reaching your room. How I tell her I already use her waifai on my phone inside my room? She how she is lie to me. Like my friend Maria.

Computer will make me progress and then I not having to be with liars.