clothes from ukay

Last week maam is giving me lot of clothes. and school bags. All old things of her and Rayan and Sara. She saying Sally you take what you want and otherwise go put in donation box at choitram. I am looking at all these clothes and things and thinking they all looking like new. Maybe little bit stretch or fade but all are good brand. I know I am not putting this clothes in any box at choitram. The only box I put them in is my cargo box to send home.

Housemaid salary is so low we not able to buy so nice thing. Like maam buying one tshirt for 200 or 300 dirham. She always taking price off and throw in her room garbage. But I always clean garbage in so I see the bill. Always spending so much money on clothes. And shoes. She come home with so many shopping bag. One time I ask her maam show me what shopping you do. I just having interest because I not able to do this type of shopping. She getting very upset. She say Sally it not your business what I buy. After that I never ask her. I only look at bill in garbage.

Maam always give me her old tshirt. But maam is so thin than me. The first time she give me her things I am sad because I think it not fit me. but the tshirt is little bit stretch. Thats why she give it to me. So it fit me. Now I wear her stretch tshirt when I am going for my holiday on friday. It is so nice materal. Even in my dream I cannot buy a new tshirt like this.

In my home we can buy clothes like this. Not new but good brand. at the ukay ukay shop. I telling maam that these clothes she give me is like I buying free clothes from ukay. Maam is getting confuse. She saying no Sally these clothes not from ukay they are from Dubai. I am then explaining ukay to maam. I tell her maam at ukay ukay shop you can buy all real brand clothes. all so very cheap. Not copy brand like you buy at karama.

Ukay clothes is real brand. only they are not new. Just like maam clothes. Real brand but not new.

But now I think I not needing to go to ukay ukay. Maybe even my family not needing ukay ukay shop. Because my maam is like my own ukay ukay shop. For free.

not so beautiful

Yesterday my maam is showing me something. She is getting very upset. There is this contest for the most favourite child. People have to vote for their favorite child to be a model. Maam is upset because she say how it is fair to only make one child the favourite? how to vote for one child? All child is the favourite for their mother and father. Maam also say if your child does not win how to explain to her that she has lost? How you tell her that she is not the favourite? Maam is then saying outside beauty is not meaning anything. It is inside that is more important.

I am thinking maam is correct. Now even I am not liking contest like this. Because in these contest you are telling child that if you are not beautiful you are not winning the prize. That if you are not beautiful you are not the favourite. And that makes you not so beautiful.

I am not beautiful. I am never winning any contest for beautiful model. When I am young girl I am always wishing that I was more beautiful. That I not so fat. That my skin is more white. That my hair is more straight. I am even today wanting straight hair. I am using umbrella when I going in the sun. Even my mother always telling me Sally how you get marry if you become brown. If you be fat. Everyone wants to be beautiful. even me. Everyone wants to win that contest and be the favourite person.

But then I think of my grandmother. When she is young my mother tell me she is so beautiful. Now she like a beautiful flower that is all dry up. Now she has nothing of the outside beauty. When you are beautiful outside and you get old you have nothing. But when you are beautiful inside your heart then you always stay beautiful. Even when you are old.

Everyone wants to win that contest. But maam is right. you have to be beautiful in your heart to be really beautiful. To stay beautiful. To really be the winner.

moving truck

Yesterday on our street there are three moving truck. Whole street is block. So many people is moving. Some moving to other house in Dubai only. Like my one friend who living in villa 4. Her name Karen. Her maam moving to big new villa so she also having to go. She very happy because in new villa the maid room is outside of house. Not inside like over here. She able to go out when she wanting to go. Her maam is not having so much control on her.

Some other people is moving to other country. Maybe London or america. Maybe singapore. Like that. All the thing in the house is pack up in so many box and they putting it in the truck. I thinking if I having to go back to Philippine I only having one or two box. I not needing full truck like this. 

Even if I wanting to buy some thing I know I not able to take it back to my home country. Like one time I am wanting to buy a tv for my mother. I thinking I buy and send by cargo. At the time of Dubai Shopping Festival. I tell my maam. Maam is tell me Sally if you sending tv then you paying so much money for sending it by cargo. Why you not just send money to philippine and let them buy tv there? 

But she not understanding. I am wanting to send gift to my family. I am wanting them to open door and see this big tv and be surprise who it coming from. And if I sending money for tv to my mother maybe she is using money for something else. not tv. But maam always put this doubt in my brain so now I not wanting to buy anything big. Because how I will take it back home?

When I going back to Philippine from Oman I am taking only one bag on plane. I am so scare how much the weight of bag is. One girl is tell me only 20 kilo is allow. Other is tell me only 15 kilo is allow. And hand luggage only 7 kilo. No one know how much is allow and how much you have to pay. But they know you are not able to take too much weight.

Imagine you working for two year you having so many thing. But you only able to take back 15 or 20 kilo. You wanting to buy so many thing to take home but you are not able to take it back. I am so careful when I do packing to go back from Oman. I put everything else in a box to send by cargo. Then my Oman sir is saying Sally I sending your box after you go. I so stupid I believe him. but he never sending it. Imagine everything I am buying is just thrown in garbage by my Oman sir. so now I not wanting to buy so many thing. Suppose I have to leave it all again when I go?

When we coming here to work we leaving our family in philippines. We feeling so very sad. We are so homesick. Our heart is paining. Then slowly the family of our maam and sir is become like our family. The children of our maam and sir is like our own son or daughter. I feel like I knowing Rayan more than I knowing my own son and brother and sister. I knowing his full day how it is. Where he going. what he doing. what he eating. why he crying. I not knowing all this detail even of my own son.

So when we leaving our job and going back we leaving not only our things but also little bit like we leaving our family. Almost like when we coming here from Philippine.  That how life of house maid is. We having to say bye to our things and our family and our friend when we leaving. Always leaving everything and everyone behind. when we going from philippine or from dubai.

That why we not needing moving truck when we leaving. Because we leaving everything behind when we go. So our luggage is not heavy. The only thing that is heavy is maybe our heart. And you cannot send that on a moving truck.

lock and key

I am not writing my blog story for so many days. That because maam is going vacation. When she is going she is locking room of computer. First time she doing this. I not know why. Maybe she is suspect me. When she telling me she is going for two weeks I was so excited. I thinking I am able to do my blog everyday. 

Then she locking the room before going. I am so disappoint. She say Sally you not needing to clean this room everyday so I locking it. My heart is so sad. Even Lilibeth is going vacation. so I am not able to use  her computer. And I too scare to ask Maria because she is so materalistic. and she not my true friend. Maybe she telling my maam then I am in big trouble. Now the room is lock. so computer is lock. Blog is lock. And I not having key so all my words is lock.

I not tell you before that I am renew my contrac with this maam. Maam is tell me Sally you can go your vacation to Philippine when I going for my vacation. I thinking why I will want to do that? When my maam is going away then I am having so much free time. I am having vacation here also. So I telling her I not wanting to go for vacation just now. Maybe later time. 

Maam saying Sally if you not wanting to go I can give you ticket money instead. She quite happy I not wanting to go. I telling maam that I not knowing if I want to do that. If I take money it be good for me. but then I not seeing my family for four years. Two for first contrac and two for next contrac. That so much time. Maam telling me Sally you think and tell me what you want to do. I am thinking maybe I going vacation for christmas time.

When maam is going for her vacation two of my friends is leaving Dubai. They not coming back to Dubai because their maam is not renew contrac. So we not see them again. We doing party at park for these two girls before they go. I am making cake at home and taking. Maam is not there so I not having to ask her. Everyone is taking pictures. We making a card for them.  We having good party. It is lot of fun.

Then at the end of party everyone is writing their phone number. but I know no one will phone because it cost so much money to phone from here. If they phoning Philippine then they phoning their own family. not some other friend. So party is fun but it so sad also. Because these two girls is gone from our life forever. Remember I tell you before that these friend we having here in Dubai are all BFV.  Best Friend for Visa. Not BFF Best Friend Forever like Sara calling all her friend. I saying bye to them forever.

Yesterday maam and sir is coming back with children. Maam is bringing me small gift. But the bigger gift she bringing me is the key. for room with computer. The key for my words.