happy to be me

Last night I am having a dream. That I am maam. And maam is me. It is not the first time I am having this dream. Sometimes even when I am awake I am having this dream. In my dream I am living in maams house in her room. Maam is living in my room. She is doing all work and I am going for shopping and to gym. I am driving the car and she is washing the car. When I wake up it is all gone. I see that I am sleeping in my small room again. I feel little bit jealous. 

Jealous because she has so many nice things. because her life is easy. because her only difficult time is when sir is travel and she feel alone. But me I am alone all the time. My life is not so easy. I have too many worry in my life. So it normal that I feel little bit jealous. little bit sad. that my life is not so easy.

But I also feel little bit proud. Because in my small life I have done so much more than her. I tell you what I mean. Full time maam depend on sir. I am not depending on any man for doing any thing for me. I am leaving my house at young age and become independent. I am supporting my full family. Maam is going to college and get so many degree. but she just spend her full day doing shopping and gym. And talking on phone. I not finish my education but I am making people think. of their life. with my blog. 

That is why I want to be happy. to be me. But it is so hard. Because everyone is able to see the nice things maam has got. But no one is able to see why I feel proud.


Two or three week back maam is opening dishwasher and she is seeing cockroach. not one. Three or four. She is screaming. She say Sally why this cockroach in my dishwasher. It not so big cockroach but she is shouting. take it out. take it out. I take out the cockroach and put cockroach spray and it die.

Then maam is saying Sally put dishwasher on without anything inside it. We have to clean everything. After dishwasher do full cycle maam say Sally open again. We open again. Again there is 2 cockroach. Now maam is angry with me. She say Sally why you not keep it clean?

How to keep dishwasher clean? It keep itself clean. Maam sometime talk nonsense. But I tell her maam it better you call pest control. Maam is calling sir. She tell him that dishwasher is full of cockroach. That is not true. There is 5 or 6 cockroach. Not full of cockroach. Sir also tell maam to call pest control.

Then the pest control man is coming. He say he have to pull full dishwasher out. When he do that there is so many cockroach behind dishwasher. I think maam is going to faint. He say it is coming in from pipe. Then he go outside. I also go outside. He open the gutter. It is good maam not see that. Because gutter is totally full. of cockroach. He quickly close it but already so many cockroach run outside. I am running behind cockroach with cockroach spray. The man is laughing. He say that spray not do anything. that only solution is that he have to put acid inside gutter.

I tell maam. Maam tell sir. Sir say ok put acid in gutter. Maam is now saying I hate this place. nothing work properly here. Then she say Sally make sure he remove all cockroach I am going to my room. I not able to see this. Man put acid in gutter. Then he close gutter. After some time when he open it all the cockroach is dead.

Next day the man come back. He do full pest control. We have to go out of house. When we come home after 4 hour the full house is smell of pest control. All the cockroach behind dishwasher is dead. All the cockroach in gutter is also dead. I feel the smell will make me also dead. But maam is not worry about the smell. She is happy the cockroach is gone.

After the man finish his pest control maam get obsess with cleaning the dishwasher. She make me put bleach inside dishwasher. We do dishwasher 3 or 4 time. Empty. Still maam is not happy. She tell Sir she want new dishwasher. She say Sally I wish we can get new dishwasher. This one is make me feel sick. I tell her maam you not feel sick. I clean all dishes by my hand for some day.

So that is how this cockroach is giving me more work. Two or three weeks is pass like this. I am still waiting for maam to say Sally it ok to use the dishwasher again. But she is not saying it. Because she get a new dishwasher. Me. 

clean clean clean

Past few weeks everything is become so dusty. Today maam is tell me Sally why all the fan is so dirty? why you not clean them so many days? you climb on ladder and clean all fan. So full morning I am taking ladder in all room and cleaning fan. Then maam say Sally why you not clean light and air con also when you take ladder. Why she not tell me when I am on ladder to clean light and air con? This double cleaning of maam is spoil all my evening fun. I am not able to go to park to meet my friends today.

You know how maam want everything so clean. I sometimes go mad with her clean clean clean all the time. Remember when she tell me to clean garbage bin? Who cleans a garbage bin? Only me for my maam.

When children come home from school she not let them touch anything. Go wash hand she say. Then she tell me Sally school is full of germ. Children must wash hand when they come home. When they go for swim she not let them splash in baby pool because she say baby do pee pee in baby pool. So children is not able to have fun in baby pool.

Few month back Sara is going from school for camping. She is so excited. She take sleeping bag and backpack. When she come back home her whole bag is so dirty. and smelly. Even Sara all dirty and smelly. But Sara not care. She say to maam I have best time in my whole life. Camp was so much fun. Maam not listen anything. She tell her Sara get in bath right now. Poor Sara is so excited to tell maam about her camp but maam only worry that everything be clean. even Sara.

One time we go to mall. We are eating chicken. Maam is shouting at man who is serving because he not wearing glove. She say what is this? you not wearing glove and you are touching my food? She say to call the manager. The man say I am manager. company is not making us wear glove for giving chicken. Maam tell him I write to your company. this is not good. I dont know if she write to company but I not like her company that day. She is in so much bad mood after that.

One time the water man is coming with big bottle of drinking water. To open this bottle we have to push the cover inside the bottle. The water man is pushing it open with his finger. Maam get so angry. She say why you open it? you not wash your hand? Your finger is going inside the bottle. How I know what you are doing with your hand before you touch the water bottle. She make him take that bottle and bring new bottle. Then she say Sally do not let him do this again.

Everywhere in house she have big bottle of hand sanitiser. And in car also. One time Rayan start crying because his hand is burning when he use sanitiser because he have cut. Sara is laughing when Rayan start crying. She say that he is baby. Rayan cry more. Then maam say Rayan if you wash hand with soap and water then you not have to use this. She say Sara if you tease your brother I ground you. But Sara keep teasing Rayan. Because she not want to stop having fun.

Sara and Rayan not care about clean or dirty. They just want to have fun. I wish maam also not care so much about clean clean clean.  Because then I will get more time. To have my own fun.

closet story

Few week back I am reading in the paper that this sir is finding the maid is doing affair with driver. How he find it out is so funny. He find the driver hiding inside the closet in maid room in the middle of the night. Imagine. I not know who is more shock. The sir or the driver or the maid.

Yesterday I am reading another story in paper. There is this maam. She is thinking that her housemaid is a man. Because the maam is finding only mans underwears in the maids bag. No girls underwears. I am thinking maybe this maid like to wear mans underwear? Maybe the maam is right that the maid is a man but finding mans underwear is not proof.

There is only one way to prove if this underwear maid is man or girl. Not by seeing her underwear. but by seeing what is under the underwear. But there is a problem. This underwear maid is already deport. So now only the underwear maid knows if she is a man.

Full day yesterday I am thinking of this underwear maid. Maybe she like to wear mans clothes. Sometime girls like to dress like man. Sometime man like to dress like girl. I know one boy like that in Philippine. Ben. He is a gay. sometime he like to dress like girl. It is not a bad thing. He is just different than me. but he is not doing anything wrong. 

In Dubai if you are a gay you can go to jail. Some month ago I tell maam about my friend Ben. Maam tell me it better he not come to Dubai. Or if he come to Dubai he better stay inside the closet. I ask her what she mean. She explain me that when a gay is tell the world that he is gay it is called come out of closet. 

These two newspaper story make me think of this sentence of maam. To come out of the closet. I think that next time the driver better stay out of the maids closet. And next time the underwear maid better lock her underwear inside the closet.