May 31, 2011

Baby on board

Today we going to spinney. On the way home there this black car that is almost do accident to our car. Maam is so upset. Black car having yellow sign at back. It say Baby on Board. Maam show me sign. She say what the use of putting this sign if he driving so badly.

I thinking maybe Baby on Board mean that driver is driving like a baby will drive. That why he drive so bad? I telling maam. She laughing. She say Sally I liking how you think. But whole day today I thinking of that sign. Because in morning I have read other story in paper. It on front page. 

It say that there two housemaid who is arrest because they do abort to baby. These girl is panic because in Dubai it not legal to have baby if you are not marry. And I think it not legal to do abort also. But what they do is so so bad. Because they waiting until they 7 month pregnate. Then they do abort in bad way. Imagine what they thinking to do this bad thing?

I feeling angry with these girls. These girl not thinking. They not knowing rule in this country? Why they in this situation? But I feeling little sad for them because it hard to think when you pregnate and so scare. I know. When I getting pregnate I am also panic. When I am telling my mother and father I am so scare. 

But it different my situation and these girl situation. I tell you why. When I am pregnate without marry I know I do bad thing. but in my home country it not illegal. I not going to jail because I am pregnate and not marry. 

I thinking if they having baby they going to jail for some time. or getting deport. But in the end mostly they going home. with the baby. At least it be a happy ending.

Now they do this bad thing. Now they having nothing. only jail. No job. No going home. No baby on board. No happy ending.

May 29, 2011

Driver

Few day back maam is tell me Sally I tired of doing driving. so much stress. She say she now wanting to get driver. I am so worry now. There only one maid room. It so small. But it my room. Where this driver will sit whole day? I not wanting him in my room. I not even wanting him inside my kitchen. Every time I going on holiday maam is arrange kitchen. When we first moving in this house she saying me Sally put all spoon here. Put all plate there. Put all food thing in this place. Then she not doing any kitchen work so I putting it where I wanting. I put plate here spoon there. Where it good for me. Not for her.

Maam not liking that. She always moving thing when I going out. She saying me Sally why you keep changing this in my kitchen? But I using it more than she using it. So I not think it her kitchen. It my kitchen. And now I worry I having to share my kitchen or my room with this driver.

I wish I am knowing driving. Then my maam not needing driver. You know I have this friend Elena. Her maam is make her learn driving. Everytime she going Bur Dubai for driving class. Her maam paying for her class. but Elena having to reach Bur Dubai by her own. She going on her own holiday. I telling her quickly do test so you not having to waste your money and holiday for this driving class. But poor Elena she failing test two or three time already. Then she having to take class again. Now her maam is tell her she not pay for more class. So poor Elena is already waste so much money and holiday for this class but she not driving.

Now I am thinking it good if all maid know driving when they come here. Then we not depend on our maam to take us to mall. or spinney. We not having to pay car lift boy. It be so nice. Few day back I am going to meet my friend Marcie. She now living little far. Her maam is move to other villa. Marcie the one who think her husband is having affair. She going back to Cebu in few days. I telling maam I wanting to say bye. Before it so easy to meet Marcie. I am just walking. But now I am depend on maam to take me. 

But maam also busy. she say Sally you can go meet your friend when I am going out. but I not able to drop and pick you. you ask Lilibeth if she can take you.  Lilibeth also busy. She having lot of guest in her house. And I not want to take taxi. I not want to spend so much money. So when maam going out I am taking Sara bike and going. Sara not liking if I riding her bike. She saying Sally you so big you break my bike. I know it not good to take bike without ask. But I not having choice. With bike I not depend on any person to take me. I am free. 

Today I am reading in paper that there this Saudi lady who is arrest because she driving. I know how she feeling. When whole time you is depend on other person to take you every where. You wanting to be free to fly but you not having wings.

See how life not fair. Maam is allow to drive. but she wanting driver. And some people not allow to drive. or not able to drive. but we not wanting driver. We just wanting to be free.

May 25, 2011

end of world

Few week back maybe in April sometime I am reading in paper that the world is end. There this one lady who come here to Dubai and put up big sign that world is end on May 21. I am seeing that in paper and get worry. All housemaid is discuss this in park also. We all thinking what is happen when world is end. Already big earthquake is happen in Japan. I am thinking that maybe this earthquake is begining of this end? 

I am telling gardener. He get so much worry he almost crying. he say he going back to his home because if he going to die he wanting to die with his ammi. his mother. We all wanting our mother when something bad is happen. Like when Rayan getting hurt. He not calling anyone. just mummy. Maam always say Rayan I giving you kiss it become better. Then she giving kiss and Rayan crying more loud. He say no mama it not better. you kiss again. Then maam giving other kiss and getting ice or bandaid. and everything is better.

So when I am hearing gardener say he wanting his ammi even I am wanting my mama. But I not wanting to waste my mobile minute so I talking to maam. Maam say all rubbish this sign is. No one is knowing when world is ending. She say see Sally when May 21 is come you and I will still be here.

So many week is pass after that. And May 21 is come. Maam is remind me in morning. She smiling and saying Sally remember world is ending today. Lets see. Day is like any other day. Sun come up. Sun going down. Still nothing happen. Maam saying see Sally nothing is happen. Maam is telling gardener also.  She say only god know when world is ending.

But sometime a person is knowing when their world is ending. Like that Indian worker who is jumping from Burj Khalifa. or that man who jump from tall building in jlt. So sad I am feeling for them. Imagine they having so much stress. Like me they come from other country to work in Dubai. Maybe they having no money. or maybe missing family. or maybe they not get salary for many month. or not get holiday or leave. I not knowing reason but it must be something so bad. That they not wanting to live. That their mother or bandaid or ice is not able to make it better.

What they must be thinking to jump like that? to make their world end like that? 

May 22, 2011

sick day

Last week something is happen. Full night I not sleeping. It my son birthday in Philippine. I missing him so much. I thinking if I at home I making food for him. I making him sleep in my bed. I cooking all nice thing for him. And he eat it. Not like maam children. All the time I making thing for them and they not apprecate me.

At 3 oclok in morning I am calling him. I saying him what you wanting for you birthday. His answer making me feel sad. And feel happy, He saying when you coming home mama? I tell you why I feeling sad and feeling happy. He know I am his mama. But he never direct call me mama. He always call me Sally like I his big sister.  He always say this is Sally. she my mama. But he call me mama today. He give me birthday gift today

At 6 oclok in morning I am not having mood to work. I not wanting to do anything for maam children. Because they not apprecate me. I tell sir I not feeling well. If I tell maam I know she suspect me so I tell sir. I stay in my room full morning. I sleeping. I reading. I pretend I not well so I not having to go out. I just feeling like not do anything. Like that song I hearing on radio. Bruno Mars song. he filipino like me. Today I dont feel like doing anything. nothing at all.

Maam also not calling me. I hearing her do everything. Packing children lunch. Making children break fast. Eating her break fast. But I staying in room I not feeling like go out only. When I waking up it lunch time. Maam is out. I eating my lunch. Then I seeing maam is leaving note for me. She writing Sally if you not well I take you to doctor in afternoon when I come home. Now I not know what to say maam. I not having mood to work but I not sick like to go to doctor.

Maam coming back home. She asking me how I feeling. She say Sally if you have fever take panadol. Maam solution for everything is panadol. Then she saying Sally it your son birthday today. I know you missing him. You phone him and talk him then you feel better. I know maam is suspect that I am doing fake sickness. I saying her that I now feeling better. that in morning I feeling sick and weak but now I am ok.

Then she saying Sally I bring small cake for you to take for your friend in park but if you not well how you be able to go? I tell her no maam I able to go now. I feeling better. Maam saying Sally if you not feel good then you better rest.

But I thinking this sickness not get better by rest. It only getting better when I go back home. when I see my son. Because I not really sick. Only home sick. only sick inside my heart.

So I taking the cake and going to park. 

May 16, 2011

Flower

There this flower in the garden. Maam telling me name. she say it buganvilla. Actually the flower so very small. But the leaf is colour so the leaf is look like flower. Sometime the plant is full pink. Sometime full white. But in maam garden there is one buganvilla. it having both pink and white leaf in same plant. It like husband and wife is together in one plant. Like they married. but it happy marriage I think. Because the plant is growing so beautiful.

Even when housemaid coming to work for her employer it like marriage. but the marriage is not like you falling in love and get marry. it more like arrange marriage. Housemaid is come to house and she living there. both side having to work hard to make it happy marriage. Sometime marriage is happy. sometimes it is divorce. Imagine housemaid is not know who she go work for. Like sometime in arrange marriage girl is not know her husband. She so nervus. How her family will be? Will they be nice? will they be mean? Maybe even the sir and maam is thinking how housemaid will be. But if sir and maam not like housemaid they is able to cancel her visa.

And in arrange marriage husband and wife is become family. In housemaid situation maybe she thinking she part of family. but she always only the maid. She not having any right in the family. housemaid is look after children but she not children mother. Housemaid is look after house but she not the maam of the house. She can never be the mother or the maam.

How I start talking about this? Sometime my mind is going so far away I not knowing how I think like this. I was telling you about flowers.

Maam showing me yesterday that date is coming in the date trees. I looking at the tall palm tree. The date is look like its small child. So many small small child in big tall tree. The palm tree is moving in the wind. Its like it waving to me. It saying Hi sally look my children have come again. my children are back.

I telling maam we must put net on tree so bird not eating date. Maam say Sally what I do with so many date. It better if the bird eat the date. Bird be happy. Every tree I looking at having so many date. In summer month the date is fall on ground and make so much mess. I cleaning outside and all date is fall there. then the bird come and eat from ground. The bird is do mess on porch. Then I having to clean again. Maybe bird be happy if maam not put net. but I not happy.

But garden work make me happy. Gardener is coming every day. but I like to put flowers and make it grow.There is this plant I am putting in pot outside house. It is small stick when I putting it in. Few day back a baby flower is grow on it. I put water everyday. I talking to it. Sometime I even give it a name. No laugh at me. It like the flowers are my friend. That why maam say my thumb is green.

Today the small baby flower is become big flower. Maam saying it desert rose. Its petal is open and I can see what is inside. It so beautiful. I wish it can be there forever but I know in few day it will fall on ground.

So many thing is like that flower. Marriage is like flower. Even arranged marriage is like flower. If there is love it will grow. If there is happiness the flower will come on the plant. I think a person life also like that flower. Sometimes the person is beautiful inside her heart. Sometime when she open the petal of her heart you see the inside beauty. Like the open flower.

But always the flower will fall to the ground. Always there is the end. My blog also like that flower. When its petal is open I hope you see beauty. and I hope it not fall on the ground too soon.

May 11, 2011

Bad haircut

Past few days all housemaid is very excite at park. There this new housemaid who is come. Her name Rhona. She tell us that in Manila she doing hair cut job. She real hair cutter. Not like how Lilibeth cut my hair but she really can do proper hair stile. All housemaid is crowd her. We asking will you cut my hair? will you do hair colouring? will you do my curling? We all thinking how where we can do this? when we can do this?

Rhona saying I cut all your hair. in park. Only 20 dirham for one person. But she say we have to look after her maam children when she cutting. Her maam having two children. Isa is 6 month. full time in pram. Other Samy is three or maybe four. He running around lots. but there so many housemaid to see him. Such good idea. so cheap haircut no one is mind look after Isa and Samy. 

So we all writing name on piece of paper. then Rhona is making order who going first. She say I do only one haircut everyday. Next two week everyone haircut is done. We all so excite we hoping she do our name first. First haircut is for Diana. I thinking how Diana always having so much good luck.

Next day Rhona is bring her scissor and all comb and water spray in bag. Everyone is looking at all her thing. Rhona is tell Samy she give him chocolate if he not tell his mother she doing haircut. Samy very happy. He taking chocolate from Rhona and is eating it. Diana is sitting down on grass. All housemaid is look at Diana and Rhona. No one is look at Isa and Samy. No one is look at Diana maam children. Or other children. Everyone only looking at haircut.

Rhona cut so good. So quick. We all so impress.  Diana is bring her camera. We taking pictures of Diana getting haircut. We all excite when our turn will come. When she done Diana look so good. Everyone is clap. Some children in park is also watching. They also clapping. I looking where Isa and Samy is. I am wanting to see what they doing.

Isa in her pram. Samy is hitting other child in park. They both hit and punch. No one know how long they doing that. Both is crying and hitting crying and hitting. All housemaid is so busy watching haircut no one is watching children.

Rhona is run to Samy. Then Rhona is doing stupid thing. She pinch Samy. She pull him. She shouting. She say what you doing Samy? You not letting me do my work? Now Samy is crying. He say I tell my mother you pinch me. Now Rhona get worry. She changing her attitude. She become all sweet and say what you saying Samy? I not pinch you. I only pulling you from fight. Because I not wanting you to get hurt. But Samy crying loudly and say I not like you Rhona. I tell my mother that you pinch me. I tell my mother that you cut hair in park. I tell my mother you give me chocolate to not tell her.

Rhona is taking Samy and Isa home. Full mood in park is become like depress. Rhona pinching Samy because she say he not allowing her to do her work. To cut hair. She forgetting that haircut not her real work. Her work is looking after Samy and Isa. I am having feeling that Rhona be in trouble after this pinching. I think I am lucky that in my work I not having to take Rayan and Sara to park with me.

We all going home. Lilibeth is phone me in night. She saying that Rhona not cutting hair again. Her maam is find out that she pinch Samy. Might be she cancel her visa. I thinking Rhona doing wrong thing. If she not pinch Samy her maam is not find out and we all having hair cut. And Rhona not having to worry about her job. And she getting some extra money also. She missing good chance because of one pinch. Why she not thinking? She not so clever. She so stupid. Because of Rhona now I not getting good haircut. Only that lucky Diana is get good haircut.

In Philippine when baby is born we believe it not good luck if we do baby hair cut before baby is one years old. When baby having first hair cut we putting hair inside a very big book. so baby become clever. We even making most clever person cut the hair so baby become clever. We doing all this so baby be clever and having good luck.

I thinking maybe when Rhona is born her mother is forget to do all this. Maybe she forget to put Rhona hair inside big clever book.That why maybe Rhona so stupid to pinch Samy.

May 8, 2011

Mother

There is this bird. It make nest outside house maybe few month back. Every few day maam and children is go look at nest. Maam say Sally no remove this nest. Poor bird is work so hard to make it. Rayan and Sara is waiting so much time to see bird coming inside nest. But they never seeing it. 

Yesterday everything is change. Gardener is coming. Same gardener who always call me Mary. Children and maam is inside house. Gardener is remove nest. Suddenly maam is see what he doing. She running outside. She saying why you remove this? Sara asking gardener if there egg inside nest. Gardener is show nest to her. It empty. Sara is saying poor bird. this mean man is remove its home.

Then maam is get camera and take picture of nest. She showing children. She showing me also. Nest is like home for bird. There is grass. Lots of grass. And leaf. At bottom there cotton ball and tissu paper. Imagine. Bird make a soft baby bed for its baby. Bird is want to protect its baby so it putting soft cotton and paper in nest.

Sara is crying. She saying now the birdy coming to lay egg and not finding nest. Maam is saying no Sara this nest has been here so much time. I think the bird already lay its egg and baby is born. This now empty nest. Baby bird is fly away. 

I not knowing if that true or not. I think Maam telling Sara this story so she protect Sara. She protecting her baby by doing lie. Maam also making soft baby bed for her baby.

See how life is. Bird and person all is same. Bird and person both want to protect their child. In my home country we thinking it good to have lot of child. So all the child can also protect mother when she is old. So the nest is never empty.

But sometimes child growing up and flying away. And sometimes mother flying away from child to do work in other country. Then the mothers heart is empty. Just like empty nest of the bird.

Today maam is tell me it mothers day. But not for the bird. And not for me.

May 5, 2011

stay or go

Past few days I am thinking lots about if I should renew visa. Some people is give me advise on my blog. My friend is give me advise in park. Best thing Lilibeth is tell me. She say Sally you make list of everything you liking and not liking about your maam. Then you see if there more like or more not like.

I liking this idea. Then I thinking I showing my list here and you tell me what to do. But I asking you to tell truth. What you really think. Because this is my life.

What I am liking about my maam is this.
She never hit me. or never throw anything on me. or never calling me bitch.
My sir never look at me in bad way.
She always talk softly to me even when she angry.
She letting me go on holiday on Friday. Only she not let me stay out at night.
She letting me go everyday to park to meet friend or for jog. but only if I am finishing my work.
She always respect my private. She never looking in my room or my bag. Even when I coming from holiday she not asking any question on where I going. only when I not telling her if I going then she getting upset.
She letting me talk on mobile any time I am wanting.
She asking me about family and my son.
There not so much work in this maam house. 
She sometimes giving me her clothes and shoe. They always nice even if they not fit me.

What I am not liking about my maam is this.
She getting angry on small thing like if I go out without tell her or if I not clean toaster or if I do small lie.
She too much particular about kitchen cleaning. always worry about salmonel
She not let me stay out at night even if I am telling her I having important work like pack my box. She thinking I stupid. that I coming back home pregnate. She not trust me
She lazy. Sometime she say she getting something I am needing like buying garden hose and then she not getting it for long time. But if it for herself she getting it fast.
She proud.
She think I not know computer. She not want me to progress.
She always saying Sally respect my private. no ask so many question. no look inside my bag and thing.
She not liking if I am throwing something like Rayan picture but I only doing it to clean house.
She not giving me house key.
She not take me out for movie or when they going to mall. Only when she having to go carefour. But atleast she taking me one time in week to mall.
She having so good thing and I having so few thing.
She so lucky. Sometime I jealous of her.
She lie sometime so she not having to give me something like du connecshin.

I thinking this good that I write all this. It help me think of everything. Now I thinking if I not renew visa and go to new maam suppose I not getting to use computer at my new maam house. Suppose my new maam not go out so much? Then how I will write my story? Suppose I am not able to get her password? Suppose my new maam is hit me? Suppose she is mean or call me bitch? Suppose my new sir have bad eye and do bad thing to me? Suppose my new house too big and there so many children? Suppose I having to wake up in the morning at 5 and sleep at 12 midnight like my before maam house? Suppose my new maam not let me go for holiday on Friday? suppose she not let me go to park? Suppose she not let me talk on mobile?

Maybe it better I stay with this maam. But now I get worry. Suppose she not want me to stay? 

May 4, 2011

versatile

I am winning Versatile Blog award from one lady. I am so excite. It my first award. I am wanting to say thank you to this lady. Her name Mrs Dubai. I know that not her real name. She also writing her own blog story. I am wanting to read her full blog but I not getting that much time. But little bit I am reading is very good story. You also read it. mrsdubai.wordpress.com

I not knowing what versatile mean. I asking maam. She saying Sally why you needing to know this big word? where you hearing it? I getting little upset on her. What she thinking? That I not know big words? That I stupid. That I not having brain in my head? See. She still not wanting me to progress. Then she saying Sally versatile mean you can easily do many thing in many different way. I thinking this good description for me. I like it.

This lady who give me award is saying that I must tell 7 thing about me. But you all knowing everything about me already. Only thing maybe you not knowing is that when I small I am dreaming that I am going to live in america. land of milk and honey. So many filipino is dream like this. For some it coming true. But I have to be satisfy with whatever milk and honey my maam is give me.

Also Mrs Dubai is saying that I must pass award to other blog writer but I not read any other blog. I not have time. If I having time I using to write my own blog story. or learn something about computer or twitter or something like that. If I start reading other blog then my computer time get all use up and my maam is come back home. 

I thinking maybe I can give this blog award to all person who write blog because they all telling some story. They think it important that why they sharing with world. They all sharing some opinon on things in their life. Maam always telling Sara that it important to have opinon. and to share opinon. She say that there no right or wrong opinon. that opinon tells other person that you are thinking and not just repeat what other person is saying. that you having your own mind. If maam is knowing I am doing blog maybe her opinon of my mind also is changing.

I saying thank you to Mrs Dubai because she so nice to give me award. Because she thinking my opinon is important. Because she not mind if I progress.  I wish she was my maam.