Bird in cage

My maam and sir is like sleep till late on Friday and Saturday. So sometime I am get up early and going out from kitchen door to meet my friend. I always coming back before maam is wake up.  sometime I even going out when maam is going to school to fetch children. My maam is never give me key to house so I going side door in kitchen. No one is knowing I going because I always coming back fastly. 

Today when I going the man is coming with water. He usually coming after 8.30 but today he coming early. so stupid he is. Because of him I am caught. Maam and sir is both waking up because he ringing bell many time. When I coming back kitchen door is lock. I knowing that now I in big trouble.

I am having no choice but ringing bell. Maam saying where you went Sally I worry about you. I telling her no maam I outside only. Then maam telling me she looking for me outside also and she not find me. First maam is like nice like she all worry about me. then she getting angry. She saying Sally why you lying? how you go without tell me? How you can be leaving house open and going.? You not locking kitchen door. anyone is able come in when we sleeping and take thing or harm children. how you can do this? why you need be sneeking to go out?

I understanding but I thinking when I going for my holiday I going from kitchen door. Then maam not saying anything that I leaving it open. Why  maam is not give me key? Then all this problem is not happen.

Then maam is say Sally I always letting you go everywhere. if you wanting go park I letting you go. if you wanting go meet friend I letting you. I remembering my Oman sir house. I never going outside. Only going outside to be putting garbage. This maam is let me do everything. But still I feeling like I in prison. Like bird inside a cage.

My friend Jessie her maam is having parrot. Jessie the one who maam is beat her. And is call her bitch. Parrot is repeat everything he hearing. He now saying Jessie you beeetch. I laughing when Jessie is tell me that. I telling her Jessie now you having witness when you going to report your maam to agency or consulate. Jessie not finding it funny. She saying Sally now one more person is calling me bitch.

I sneeking to go out because I feeling like I in cage. But I know I lucky. Even if I not having key atleast I can fly outside sometime. atleast my cage having a door. Jessie cage having no door and no key.

Friends and money

Friend is very important to housemaid because we not having family here in Dubai. So friend is like family. My friend Ellie living next street. Her maam is giving her lot of her thing that she not wanting. Like old clothes and toys. but her maam  like my maam. She not like Ellie keeping any junk in house. 

So Ellie telling me Sally you keep it for me. But few month back I get in trouble for keep Ellie junk. so now I also not able help Ellie. But Ellie sharing very important secret to me. Ellie tell me she selling all her thing her maam is give her to her friend. She making money on side like that way. by selling her maam junk. sometime she make 100 dirham extra. I am liking idea. Maybe I also be sell something to my friend maybe even I get 100 dirham.

I keep on thinking what I can sell. I not having anything. when I am getting new mobile phone I getting free vcr. maam is tell me to sell vcr to my friend. But then I return phone so I return vcr also.  So I cannot sell and make money. Once I making 3 cover for mobile phone from old bed sheet. When I going to sell to friend they all saying very beautiful and they just taking it. They no give me money. I not asking them money because I make from old bedsheet. 

Maria is my friend she living opposite house. Remember she wanting to sell me her computer and she is lie to me? She very materalistic. She liking buying lot of thing but she not having money. When I be having old type mobile she making fun of my phone. She saying why you having this phone? Why you not having touch screen phone? Then I is feeling so bad I is going to get new phone. If she my real friend she not make fun of my mobile. But Maria sharing good idea with all house maid.

She is give us idea of doing paluwagan. There is 6 girl who doing this. Every month we each giving 200 dirham. So we having 1200 dirham total every month. Then one girl is taking all 1200 dirham one month. then next girl is taking next month. Like that. That way we getting lot of money one time. To do anything. I am getting for this month. I feeling so excite. I thinking what I can do with it. First I thinking I buying laptop. Then I thinking it better I sending it home. My mother is need money for shoes and thing for my brother and sister. Then I thinking I just keeping it. till I am deciding what to do. I telling maam my situation.

Maam is saying me you be careful Sally. supposing one of this 6 girl is leave group after she getting money. then what you will do? better you save money in envelop and after 6 month you having same amount. Then she saying Sally it better you not mix friend and money. she say when you mix friend and money you can lose friendship. I just saying yes maam.

But I getting 1200 dirham by mixing my friends money with my money. So for me friend and money good mix. Friendship very important to house maid because friend like family. but money most important.

replace

Vacum need to be repair. Or replace. If I using too much then it stopping working. Then I telling maam. Maam saying Sally I not knowing what you doing to vacum. But I not doing anything to vacum. I only putting plug in and pressing on. Why maam is think that I am spoil everything?

All my time is get waste because vacum cleaner not work properly. Maam saying Sally you stop in middle little time. let vacum be cool. then it starting working again. If I stopping in middle then my time get wasting. And I not able to replace my time.

Sir is always taking it trying to fix. but after few day it not work again. I thinking that if maam be using it then maam is replace it.  but because I am using it not so important. Like when maam is doing iron for her hair. When that not work she is going running running to buy new iron. She saying Sally my hair looking so friz if I not do iron I have to replace right now. But she not replace something that I be using.

Maam is blame me for break vacum. When house maid is not doing good thing her maam is replace her with new house maid. So house maid is always scare when they is break something. Like when I am dropping all maam wine glass. When I am coming this house there 6 same glass for wine. Now there only 1.  They all is slowly slowly breaking. I getting so scare she be angry I not telling her. When maam guest is coming for dinner maam is ask me Sally where all wine glass? I telling her maam they all breaking. Maam asking me Sally how they breaking? I am having so many years and in 6 month you break so many glass? you need be more careful. Then she going buy new glass for replace.

I am worry that today maam replace glass and iron but one day like that she replace me also.

My name

My name Sally. Everyone is know that. Every day gardener is coming. He going on call me Mary. I telling him my name not Mary it Sally so many time. still he keep saying Mary. I not know if he understand because he not speak so much good English and I not speak his language. He still saying Mary give me plastic bag. Mary I want speak to maam.

I telling maam. Maam saying what difference it make Sally? why you having to tell him your name? Maybe he thinking all house maid is Mary. But I feel irritate that she think it not make difference to me. How she like it if someone call her some other name? Even Sara not liking it if I calling her by another name. She saying My name Sara. not call me Sar or Saru.

Some people is look at filipina girl and think we are all same. But we not. Some maam and sir is even make us wear uniform so we look same. In my Oman sir house if Baba is there I am having to cover my face also. First few day I am finding very difficult. because I not use to. I not able to see properly. I am falling. I feeling like I am in black room. After few month I am getting use to. But when I am leaving that job and going back Philippine I am throwing it at airport. I feeling free when I doing that.

My maam asking me one day Sally you not want to wear uniform? I getting scare she making me wear uniform. Then she saying Sally I not like uniform but if you want I will get for you. I telling her no maam I not want to wear uniform. I not feel comfortable. I not able to do my work. But actually I not like it because then when you going mall everyone is know you are house maid. I not liking that.

When I am going for grocsery shopping at Spinney I am seeing all filipina girl in same clothes. They are all looking same. Only their name badge different. Because they all is different girl. Even if they look same in same clothes.

I am wanting to tell gardener that just like girl at spinney we are all look same but our name is different. Because we are all different.

Valentine Day

Few day ago is Valentine Day. Sara and Rayan is make so much valentine card for everyone in family. and for all friend in school. But no one is give me valentine card. no one even saying mahal kita to me. Mahal kita mean I love you. I feeling alone. I phoning my mama. She not even asking how I am. forget it she saying mahal kita. She just saying Sally send money we needing to buy new shoe for brother and sister.

Valentine Day make me thinking of all romantic thing. like Romeo and Juliet. so romantic. They loving each other so much that when they cannot be together forever they dying. for love. My before maam is showing me picture of Taj Mahal when she going there. She is tell me story that many year ago this king is making it for his wife when she is dying. I asking her if Mahal is mean love or expensive like it mean in tagalog but my before maam is tell me it meaning palace. This king is love his wife so much that when she die he making her a palace. A expensive palace for his love. mahal mahal for mahal. That is funny. but it also so romantic.

In my home country there one place call Puerto Princesa. Every year on valentine day they doing this thing call love affair with nature. Many couple is get marry together on this day. They have free wedding celebration if they planting bakawan tree in the water. Bakawan is english word mangrove.  Mangrove very important tree in this place so they planting it to show their love. Love for each other. and love for nature. That why they calling it love affair with nature.

But I thinking if person getting trap in mangrove it so dangerus. you can be dying. So why these couple is plant mangrove tree on their wedding day?  maybe because they now feeling trap with each other till death do us part.

lost and found

Today I am very worry. I can not find Rayan school shirt. I looking everywhere. He having three shirt. now only two is there. I telling maam maybe she leaving at school when Rayan change for swim. Maam getting angry saying how I can leave at school? She not like it when I tell her she doing some mistake. But she all the time showing me my mistake. I am counting shirt and counting day and remember everything and maam only get more angry. she saying Sally I not care how many shirt he have. I know the shirt not there so where it is?

So now shirt lost and maam temper also lost. Maam find blame on me. Maam these day too much bad mood. Some day back she in good mood I not know what happen. She saying she have lot of stress. How she have stress? she having to be Sally to know stress.

I always having too much stress. I not knowing how but stress just find me. I worry about my family in Philippine. Few month back my mother is tell me too much garbage is there backside house. I asking her no one is come to pick up? she saying they having pay to pick up garbage and no one having money so all garbage is pile up back of house. I telling maam. Maam saying Sally that not good. It not safe have so much garbage outside house. Lot of disease is happen. that how I get stress. Now I worry about they fall sick.

When we is falling sick my grandmother she giving all plant medicine. no going doctor in my family. lot of filipino doing like this. Because no money to be going doctor all the time. Maam asking me what plant your grandmother is give? I telling her I not knowing much. only know little. Like if you getting too much bathroom you drinking guava tea. You washing hair with alovera to make shiney. but my grandmother she is really knowing how to do healing. If your leg paining she just press here press there and put some leaf of plant on it and it better. I telling maam that in Philippine some people is take lactopafi. Maam asking what this lactopafi? I telling her it found by man in my home country. it so good people all over world is take it to cure all thing. really. It cure for everything. But no one can cure my stress. Not grandmother. Not lactopafi.

Lot of thing is finding me. Maam find me to blame for lost shirt. Stress find me to worry me. But I not finding cure for stress. And I still not find lost shirt.

balikbayan box

Some week back I taking box to my cuzzin Luena in Sharja because maam is tell me no collect junk in her house. I collecting all this thing to send to my family in Philippine.  All house maid is do that. We sending all thing in big box. balikbayan box. Like I sending shoe and pencil for my sister and brother. I sending toaster. I sending noodle from here. clothes. scarf. slipper. some old toy that my friend Ellie is give me. I sending soap shampoo. Like that. We wrapping all soap shampoo and all with tape so it not coming out.  I am balikbayan. That mean I am filipino who work in other country. abroad. That why this box call balikbayan box. Lot of worker who come here is taking box with them on plane when they going back home. or they sending box from here with cargo.

I am remembering first time I seeing this box, when I am small girl my friend Josephine mother is work abroad. So much excite the family is feel when the balikbayan box is come. They waiting full family there when they opening. Sometime they calling their friend to see also. That how I seeing it. Josephine is call me say Sally come see it so exciting. When they opening box it is smelling so good. Then Josephine is tell me that the smell of abroad. I never smelling abroad before and I thinking what this place abroad that smelling so good? But when I is going abroad it not smelling like that. For me it only smelling kitchen and bathroom smell.

My maam is giving me her and children old clothes for sending to family. She saying Sally if you want take. if you not want give me I putting in box at Choitram. I always taking because someone in family is wearing. Maam clothes is all nice thing I not knowing why she throwing. She saying Sally this tshirt is stretch. Sally this tshirt faded. I not see stretch or fade. I only see thing I can put in box.

I telling maam I am wanting to send tv to my family. Maam is saying sally why you doing that? it so expensive to ship tv. I telling her I want surprise my family. I want tv to be deliver and they is open door and get so excite. Maam saying Sally what if tv is break when you ship? Then it not good. I also now is scare if it break. then my heart also is break.

When my balikbayan box is get full I sending all these thing to my family. I sending my heart to my family. 

new life

Maam is giving me a black cloth bag. She say Sally put in washing machine I want to give it new life. I thinking how it get new life by just wash? If I having bath I not getting new life. I still same Sally only clean. But I not want talk too much with maam today. She not in good mood today. I putting bag in washing machine. 

But I keeping on thinking how this bag get new life? new life mean it having to die first. Bag not dead it just dirty. Now I thinking all about dying. when we dying you going heaven if you having good heart and doing good thing. otherwise you going hell. When I am 10 my uncle is take whole family for picnic to Paradise Island. It so beautiful. it like heaven. I hoping when I die I going to heaven.

Few day back I am reading in Gulf news that that there this woman in the hospital and everyone is think she is die. then one nurse is hear her voice and she actually alive. It like she come back to life. Like she get new life.

I know some people is believe that when we is dying we coming back in this world. maybe as person. maybe as bird or animal something else. Some people is believe if you doing good thing this life then you coming as better thing in next life. if you be bad person then you coming back as worse thing like spider or cockroach.

I thinking if this true then in my new life I not want to be housemaid. I want to be a maam.

Old Maid

Yesterday Rayan is teaching me game with cards. Old Maid. you have to match all card until only one card left in your hand. until only Old Maid left in your hand. I thinking why this game called Old Maid? Why it not call Old Man or Only One Card Left? When I thinking old maid I only thinking of maid like me who is become old. Maam is explain that old maid mean someone who not married. like spinster. She left all alone. like last card in your hand.

But I thinking about maid age now. When maid is getting old they finding it hard to find job. No one is wanting old maid. They worry that old maid not able to be doing work. If maid working long time with her maam and she getting old then it ok. But no one want new maid who is old. 

My friend Leticia is asking me one day Sally you have any person in your home country who wanting to come here? Leticia contrac getting over in few month and she go back. she helping her maam find new maid. I tell Leticia yes my aunty is there. she ready to come. I phoning my aunty. Telling her to fastly make her passport. do all paper. Aunty pay lot of money she borrow money from here there. Then Leticia telling me no Sally my maam no wanting your aunty. Your aunty too old. Leticia maam worry that aunty not be able to do hard work because she 42 year old.

My other friend her sister also coming Dubai on her own money for ticket and visa then looking for job. She not finding job she going back to Philippine. Imagine she spending so much money on ticket and visa and she just having to go back. because she too old. because she 45.

I also worrying when I becoming old how I will be find job? I also be left behind like aunty or friend sister? I also be an old maid. Left behind just like old maid in card game.

tsismosa

Yesterday my maam is telling me Sally you know what tsismosa is? I thinking how she knowing this word? tsismosa tagalog word for someone who like doing too much tsismis. talking lot. doing gossip. Like what I doing every day with my friend on mobile. or in park. But how maam knowing this word? Then maam saying Sally you listening me? I going today my friend house and I eating cheese samosa.  It very good. I understanding now she not talking tagalog. She asking if I knowing cheese samosa. I say yes maam I knowing samosa. my friend Meena is maid near my before sir house. She is giving me chicken samosa one time. Very tasty.

But now I thinking in my mind how much I like doing tsismis. gossip talk with my friend. We talking so many thing. like other maid. how much salry she be getting. other maam. other sir. other house secret thing. everyone side business. we talking our country. our family. all the time we talking talking.

In my before sir house I doing everything. cook maid nanny iron. I do all. Even car washer. Here I do lot of cook and clean and iron and car wash but my maam she very involve in children playing. too much involve. So I is not that much involve in children playing. Like example. At my before sir house I is taking children to park every day. Children playing all game and I meeting my friends. We talking so much.  Now my this maam taking children for class in evening and she leave me home. she telling me Sally if you want go to park. by my own self. No children. First I thinking why she not take me to karate class or tennis class with children. My before maam always taking me to class or even movie with children. then she dropping me and children at class or movie. then before maam going roam in mall. This maam always take children her own self and waiting also at class or watch movie with them.

First I feeling hurt she not wanting me go with her and children. I feel left out. But then I thinking this is good. much better. Sometime I do blog. sometime I going park. for jog or I going to meet friend.

I only housemaid who is not with children at park. All housemaid is ask me Sally your maam not sending children? I feeling so free. like I am the maam at the park and my friend is all the maid. I not having to worry about  children. I free to talk with all my friend. Free to do tsismis. gossip.

Whole time yesterday I thinking thinking why cheese samosa and tsismosa so same word. While I am working I keep on thinking. Then I have idea.

Samosa so very tasty. Just like gossip.

fish and earthquake

Yesterday for dinner we are eating fish. Rayan not liking but he still eating. then getting a bone stick in his throat. Maam telling him drink lot of water it go down. more water more water. I thinking if he drinking so much water before he sleeping then at night the water go down and also come out. when he sleep. in his bed. That not good. because then I will be washing too much bedsheet tomorrow.

Then maam is giving Rayan lot of bread. so much bread that Rayan almost doing vomit but no fish bone coming out. Then she giving banana. Then Rayan saying that he think bone is gone. Everyone happy. I telling maam that in my home if I swallowing fish bone my grandmother getting a cat and making cat pat my neck. grandmother saying that when cat doing that the fish bone go away. I thinking how that can work is that I getting so scare that cat will scratch my face that fish bone going down like that. But still I doing what she saying and it work.

Maam saying Sally again you telling me all this nonsens talk from your home town. I telling her it not nonsens talk lot of people is believe in this cat way to remove fish bone. Maam is laughing and saying what Sally? cat taking away fish bone like your earthquake and water story?

When earthquake is happen few day back I telling maam that if there is pregnate woman in earthquake it very bad. you have to quickly throw full bucket cold water on her to remove earthquake bad thing from pregnate girl. Maam is just laughing lot and saying Sally how you is believe all this mumpo jumpo. Maam thinking it all nonsens. She is not understand how important all this thing is in our life. 

Because I am worry if I not doing all this thing my grandmother tell me then small problem like fish bone becoming big danger like earthquake. 

mistake and pride

I want to tell you why I am doing this blog even if some people is say I fake or I make mistake. I am telling this blog story because I am wanting to teach people about hard life of maid. How much she struggle. How much she sacrifice to come here. How she is missing her family. how much homesick she is feeling. She is having to take care other people child when her own child is in home country. How she is work hard but all her money going to her family in Philippine. How her family in Philippine is depend so much on her but still be making her feel so gilty. How she no can spend money on her own self. How if her maam good to her she happy. if not then her life become sad. How her maam and sir is depend on her but not say even thank you to her.

When I write I feel like I telling story to my friends. story of so many maid who is come here to work. not just my story. People is seeing maid and think we are all same. If one bad experence they think all maid is bad. But that not true. Every housemaid is have little bit of my story. Leaving family. missing family. sending money to family. But every maid also different. Inside our heart we is different. Some housemaid is having good heart. Other is not.

Maid is always have to be humble. That what we learn before we coming to our job. Be humble. No be proud. Always listen your maam and sir what they say. Always swallow pride. my mama I think she is proud of me. She always say see this my daughter Sally. She earn money so we can buy nice thing. My grandmother always saying Sally when you will get marry why you is work so hard? But she also is so proud of me because I am send money to them. Even my little brother sister is so proud of me. They will say Sallly what you be bringing us when you come home?

Until I is write blog story I not feel proud. Like they teach me. Always swallow pride. But now inside my heart I is having pride. Of what I is doing. I feeling like I is important. And I hoping my blog is make other maid also feel proud in their work. I hoping my blog is making some maam and sir respect what maid is do for them. to show people you not having to be rich or poor or too much educate to make people listen what you are say. I really hoping my blog make people feel that even if they are small person like house maid they still can do anything. if their heart is good.

Maybe I make mistake when I write. But my blog is not a mistake.

Facebook

I now having facebook page. Lilibeth is make for me. She say it important to net work. I not knowing how to do but now she doing it for me. so I very happy. Lilibeth telling me Sally you are so famus if you make book you become rich. then you forget your friend Lilibeth. I telling her how I can forget her she is one who show me blog. I tell her if I make movie she will be Lilibeth in movie. Then she be famus also.