Jan 2, 2011
Today I am be puzzle. I not knowing what to feel. One side I feeling scare. My blog story having lot people see it. So sudden. How they all finding me? I feel scare now I think I stop write. Supposing my maam seeing? She be knowing everything what I be doing when she outside home or sleeping and I will be dead. She definitly sending me back. Supose some friend of my maam seeing it then they be showing her and then I is dead. Someone even writing to me comment to showing my picture. How I can do that? Imagine I showing my picture and my maam seeing my picture. I talk to Lilibeth. She say she will show me how remove me from blog if I am wanting. Other side I feeling excite. Imagine I is famus. so many people be reading my story. They all knowing how hard my life is. How my maam be good maam but she not want me to progress. How I can remove my blog? Then how people will know my life?
so I is in puzzle mood today. Maam is talking to me and I cannot listen her. I even burning food today that how puzzle I feel. One side scare. other side excite. Like when I be giving birth to my son. I so excite but I so scare at same time. Now son is 7 and I think it better be scare than excite. He so far away from me I not see him so many year. He know I am his mother but now he start call me his big sister. I think he be ashame that I leaving him so many year. What I can be doing? I am having to work hard here. My hand is how you say tie.
My friend Maria her hand is not tie but it is all crack. She washing so many thing after her maam do New Year party her hand all crack up. She coming to me crying saying I giving you 30 dirham you please do my washing. I telling her how I can do the washing my maam not letting me. But anyway I be telling my maam and my maam saying Sally you get in trouble you go someone home who not your emplayer. What if you be breaking something? They will say Sally broke it and then make you pay. Better you not go there. So I telling Maria my maam say no.
Any way Maria is liar I no want to help her feel better. Just like her hand is crack my frienship with her is also crack.