Dec 28, 2010

Newspaper

I like reading newspaper. Today there is picture of cat in paper. I telling my maam see this cat it is so lucky. Its picture in paper. Even camel picture in paper. But you and me our picture not in paper. My maam she tell me Sally it good our picture not in paper. It better we staying below radio. What this mean I not know. Below radio I am asking maam what that mean. She saying not radio rada. I still not understand. I only knowing radio in car how you can going below that.

My friend Maria she is selling her computer. Small computer for 1100 dirham. This friend she not making much salary but she be buying new mobile and computer. Now she having no money so she trying to sell. I am telling my maam that I be wanting computer. My maam she saying what will you do with computer. She not know that I am writing every time I am getting chance. I am even having facebook but maam not knowing. Now I haveing mobile phone new samsung one I am seeing my facebook on phone. Maam she not knowing I know how get on her waifai. I be asking little boy for password one day he be telling me. So easy it to get information from child. I telling him I know you not knowing password. He telling me no Sally I be know. It is this. I not write here because then my maam if she ever finding out I is dead.

Maam she thinking I not know anything of computer. She be think I is a fool. I get so angry when she be telling me what you do with computer. She not having any idea how my life is. They go out all time all different place I have to stay home. They not beat me or any of mean thing but this very mean that I have to stay home and do no work. Sometime I watching Tv. Sometime I opening maam closet and look at her thing. I using her makeup also and nail polish. One day maam say she be coming afternoon she coming back morning. I thinking I is dead that day I in her bedroom looking looking in sir closet seeing if anything I can use. She coming in saying Sally why sir closet open. I saying no maam you leaving open I was just close it. Maam look at me say thank you sally. She not remember anything so I can say anything.

Like that day Sara have very nice ice box for school lunch box. I be think my brother sister liking very much so I take and I telling maam Sara leave at school. Maam say ok no worry we put other one. Then Sara saying no it not in my lunch box. This Sara very silly girl how she say that so I get angry and saying you leave at school you not remember. Then maam say Sara never leaving anything at school maybe I leaving it at school picnic. She how she is protect her child. I know she be lying because I take icebox but I cannot tell her. Just like in newspaper they finding out who lying who not lying I feeling like newspaper.



I am adding to say that I be return icebox after I am getting advice from some person who be reading my story. I feeling so gilty that I is becoming bad person. Now my conscinch is good.

Dec 27, 2010

Project

Some month ago my maam be giving me project to do. Actually she is suppose to be doing it but she not have time so she telling me Sally you please be cutting and doing this thing for children school. Not for children to be giving grade but for something like halloween party in school. I not mind I like doing project like this. It keeping me busy. In this house not much TV we seeing when they is at home. Maam not watch at all children also hardly any TV. Only time I seeing maam watching TV is when that miner coming out of hole and maam switching on news to see and she showing me also.

At my before sir house the maam over there she giving me lot of children project. I having to draw lot of things for children and children saying they do the drawing. I am good at draw so one time children is winning a prize and his picture coming in paper. He so excite his picture coming but no one say Sally you are the winner because you do the picture. I feeling in my heart but I is only the housemaid how I can say anything.

When maam is be going out of country one time I taking old sheet and I making curtain and mat for floor. Then I telling maam that I will make curtain even for kitchen. They having wooden curtain all broken in kitchen but maam say Sally no remove wooden curtain it not belong us it belong landlord. Maam then she saying I have cloth and machine I be stiching curtain. but I waiting many month no curtain coming. Why maam she be lying to me. I know she busy but I be making nice curtain if she telling me even if I am busy.

Maam very lazy sometime she saying she doing something taking so long after that. Like when I be getting my new phone I telling her to sending me music with blutooth. But maam she not liking connect her computer to my phone she worry I steal her thing. So she telling me she get me adaptr for my phone sd card to be putting in her computer. Then she not giving me music so many day. I be telling her maam I liking this song but she no takeing hint. One time I even telling Sara I liking Bruno Mars song. You know he half filipino he writing song about bilinare. Filipino people always thinking money money money. But maam she not giving me the song only. I thinking today she will give me then I going bed and still there is no song. If she having to do project for school she make me do it and I finish it in one day. Why she cannot do my project of curtain or songs and finish in one day?

Dec 23, 2010

Junk

Last week my maam she be telling me I needing ID card. I telling her I having labor card already why I be needing ID card? She say everyone needing even children. I asking Lilibeth she know everything. She say Sally everyone needing ID card why your maam be waiting so long to get card? I saying I not knowing maam she sometime doing thing last minute. So my maam she be going morning 6 oclok to be making the card with sir. But then she coming back saying they no taking for typing. 

So now my maam coming back home bad mood. Then she opening outside store room to be taking out Sara bike. Then she seeing I be keeping some things in outside store room. One month back my friend Ellie be giving me some toys that her maam not use. She say Sally you keep this for me my maam not wanting me keep it in my room. I telling maam Ellie tell me to keep it till March. My maam she be getting angry saying Sally I am throwing all my junk out there is too much junk you cannot bring other housemaid junk to my house. I feeling bad why she calling it junk junk. It not junk. 

But I taking out all my thing from store room keeping on outside. Maam then teling me why you keep outside your thing I not tell you to remove your thing only your friend Ellie's things. I tell her I want to send my thing with Precious Cargo to my home in Philippine. My maam saying then you better getting box and sending it because you cannot keep it all here there no place. I thinking How there no place it big store room? Then maam saying if you keeping like this all rat and all will come and it getting bad. Now I have to call taxi and take to my cuzzin Luena home in Sharja so it not here. Maam she so mean she having so much store space me having nothing. But I give Ellie back her things because maam is right. Why I keep her thing in my maam store room? Maam never telling me to take my own bags out of storeroom but I be taking it out now just showing maam I not keep any junk.

Maam she keeping lot of junk in her room. Lot of thing under bed also. but me she not allow to keep anything. She having so many room but I have small room as big as her bathroom. Still she not let me keep junk outside home. I feeling angry. Then I remembering it Christmas in two day. If I be angry with maam maybe she not give me my gift. I have to how you say swallowing anger keep inside of my heart. That I do and maam next day she tell me Sally why you feeling sad when I just telling you keep thing nicely not like junk. How I know she say that. I thinking she say throw everything out. Maam getting me big box and I putting all junk inside box. Then maam tell me when you can go to Sharja you take box and leave at cuzzin but no need to be leaving it outside. If it rain all thing get spoil. I be thinking yesterday you calling it junk today you thinking it get spoiling. How it can get spoil if it already junk?

Maam give me picture frame for christmas. First I think what is this picture frame with wire coming out from side? Then she say Sally bring your camera and she put my camera stick inside the frame and all my pictures I can see on picture frame. I very happy no need to devlop picture now.  I so very happy I phoning my friend Susan. My friend she tell me her maam give her laptop computer. Now my frame look so small I not happy any more. I telling maam that my friend Susan getting laptop for her christmas gift. Maam knowing I not grateful for frame she telling me Sally how long Susan be working for her maam? I telling her 5 year. So maam saying Sally you work here only 5 month she working 5 year. That why her maam give her laptop. I understand but I not like my Christmas gift no more. It feeling like junk now.