Jan 3, 2011

Gilty and confuse

I quickly do blog because maam sir and children only go out short time just now.

Today I feeling very gilty. I wake up very early and be get on maam computer when maam asleep. I am seeing on my blog one person who read my blog story give me good advise. I reading her advise then thinking lot whole day about her advise how I can use. But now I confuse. When I coming back on blog to write her how I be change I am see that she be remove all her advise comment. So now I not knowing what she be meaning but I already taking her message to my heart and I deciding to be nice person.

She tell me no steal no lie no want throw thing at maam. She telling me remove story but how I can remove? Then it not be my true life story then I be doing big lie again. Better I do how you say improv  myself. From now on I try not to do any wrong thing. Whole day I be thinking how I can improv myself. So thinking thinking I making my plan.

First thing I be doing when maam is waking in morning is I be return icebox. I go into outside store room and remove from my bag. Good think I not take bag to Luena home or I having to go to Sharja to bring back. then I telling maam see I finding it. It was in kitchen fallen backside of frig. Maam believe me saying good Sally you find it now wash and put away. see I tell you Sara never leave anything at school.

I feel so gilty that maam is trust me I wash it very extra. Now nailpolish colour I no can return but I swear myself I never take her thing again. I still want throw thing at maam sometime but I try not to think that bad way. I have become so bad person since I come as housemaid. 

This person also telling me no send so much money to my family. How I can do that? All time they be calling my mobile telling me send money send money. They be make me feel so gilty also if I not be sending money. Gilty gilty all time. Gilty if I take thing that not belong me. gilty if I no send money to family. I oldest sister I am having resposibilty not just my son but my brother and sister. My mother now she have new children with new husband so she no look after her old family. She not abandon but she no buy any new thing for old family. If she get chicken from shop she giving her new children. then she showing her old family children. she say see I give them chicken but it over now. there no peace chicken for you. She want make them feel jealous.

How she not feel gilty? I need learn from her.

2 comments:

luvdubai said...

Your mother is using you Sally.

let your mother demand to her own husband all the time and asking him for money instead of you.

How old are your full brothers and sisters? Is there a way to get some of the money to them instead of all of it to your mother?

I know you feel guilty and so you will continue to send money... but stop sending as much money as you have been and start saving! And find a way to split how much you send so that some of it goes to your full brothers and sisters.

Your mother will spend all of your money and she doesn't care if you not have any money left for your future or your son's future. you are the only one who can think about your future.

When your brothers and sisters are old enough,and when they finish school, or even if they cannot finish school... you need to keep talking to them to encourage them to work and make their own money. Do not let them learn to ask other people for money all the time like your mother. Try to talk or write letter to your sisters and brothers and tell them to make sure they do not get pregnant before they are ready and to work so they can save money.

Look how hard of a time you are having now? You are a smart girl--look how you did not marry Richie because he is doing bad things? That is so smart!! Now be smart about thinking about your future and save money!

Ask your maam to help you. Ask your maam to help you open a bank account.

luvdubai said...

******
I am sorry I had copied and pasted my answer from notepad and didn't realize I did not copy the whole thing... I cannot edit my comment so here is the full comment:

think about this Sally,

your mother lets your full brothers and sisters go without getting the chicken and making them jealous? She is giving the good food to your half brothers and sisters with your money?

Sally, she would do it to you too!! You aren't her daughter from her new husband and so if you were back home she would not be working hard to take care of you and will be trying to make you feel jealous too!

your mother's new husband is the one who should be taking care of his children! not you! Remember, she told you she will not take care of your son because she wants to get married again. Instead of helping you (because you were moving far away to try to make money), she went and married a bad man and had children with him and now she wants your money to take care of them?

She should be helping you take care of your son because you are the one moving away to be able to send her money!!

Your mother is using you Sally.

let your mother demand to her own husband all the time and asking him for money instead of you.

How old are your full brothers and sisters? Is there a way to get some of the money to them instead of all of it to your mother?

I know you feel guilty and so you will continue to send money... but stop sending as much money as you have been and start saving! And find a way to split how much you send so that some of it goes to your full brothers and sisters.

Your mother will spend all of your money and she doesn't care if you not have any money left for your future or your son's future. you are the only one who can think about your future.

When your brothers and sisters are old enough,and when they finish school, or even if they cannot finish school... you need to keep talking to them to encourage them to work and make their own money. Do not let them learn to ask other people for money all the time like your mother. Try to talk or write letter to your sisters and brothers and tell them to make sure they do not get pregnant before they are ready and to work so they can save money.

Look how hard of a time you are having now? You are a smart girl--look how you did not marry Richie because he is doing bad things? That is so smart!! Now be smart about thinking about your future and save money!

Ask your maam to help you. Ask your maam to help you open a bank account.

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